WHICH DOW DIRECTOR IS WHICH? LIST THEM BY NUMBER AND WIN A REAL PIECE OF DINOSAUR DUNG

Dow directors are full of shit. Listen to any interview, visit any page on dow.com, read anything they have written or published. Every time these reptiles open their mouths, out pops a bit of poop. We call this dow dung corprolites (not to be confused with coprolites, which are genuine fossilised droppings of long extinct creatures).

This has given us an idea for a fabulous, one-off bhopal.net competition.

If you can put a name to the Dowosaurs above and dig up enough corprolites to go with them you can win yourself a real piece of dinosaur dung, of the type that was last smelly about 150,000,000 years ago.

All you have to do is use your skill and judgement to put a name to each director (there's no right or wrong answer). That much is easy, but to win you must also find bits of "dow dung" as you can to support your identification. 

Examples only using two Dow ex-directors (don't copy these)

1. William Stavropoulos, ex-CEO: "There are no on-going criminal cases against Union Carbide" (lied to shareholders at 2002 AGM, later admitted to having "misspoken")
2. Michael Parker, ex-CEO: "I can still remember where I was on that day" (referring to when he heard the news about the Bhopal disaster, oft repeated and utterly meaningless)

A great source of "dow dung" is our bhopal.con feature, a line-by-line, lie by lie, dissection of Dow Chemical's bhopal.com propaganda website.

The search facility on this website can often throw up some unexpected stuff. The site contained 2,642 pages as of this morning (May 12, 2006).

Information on recently re-elected Dow directors may be found at http://www.bhopal.net/dowunioncarbide/archives/2006/05/dow_chemical_re.html and thence by onward links into dow.com. Trawling the internet also produces an excellent haul of corporate merde.

If you run out of directors you may add any other Dow or Union Carbide staffer, also providing quotes. Clue: John Musser of Dow is a good chap to investigate, he's full of corprolite. Also check out Tomm F. Sprick of Union Carbide.

Completed submissions should be emailed to the editor, bhopal.net. This competition will run until we get bored with it. The entries will then be judged by the aforsaid editor and a panel of ICJB members, whose decision will be final.

The winner will receive as prize a real, 150 million year old piece of dinosaur doodoo like the beautiful example below. We are willing ship it to anywhere in the world. So, get researching. Send in those entries (no limit to the number of submissions you may make). Tell your friends. When will you ever again have a chance to win such a magnificent piece of shit?